the way you write with so much energy is so infectious! the part where you mentioned the thought of people only liking the "lucky" you really stuck with me, because omg, so relatable. love love love!
i felt this to my CORE i’m also an enfj and sorta scared to disappoint the others around me but it’s alright because i got used to the idea of being in second place ♡ your writing is so captivating btw i love it
the way you circle back to that line "when someone thinks highly of you, you wonder how long it will take them to feel disappointed in you” like it’s haunting you in real time, gives the whole piece this quiet, anxious heartbeat. and yeah, i did get shivers reading it.🫶🏻😭
I used to be in a position where I'd have the same fear. But now, I've fallen so far below the bar I set for myself that the fear has been aleviated. Although, not the best situation to be in, it does have its ups.
Thanks for sharing this…bittersweet how we can't always live up to our expectations. The pressure then lies on being the best version of yourself you can be - more internal than external, I guess.
Maybe we create expectations too high for ourselves, only realizing that after a burnout. Better to take the process slowly and admire every stage of life than rushing to meet your expectations.
i resonate with this so much because every time i receive a compliment, i wonder how long it will take for the person to no longer believe in that compliment. am i still smart? still kind? still a generally nice person?? or has all of that changed, has their perception of me changed since then? idk lol, but I loved reading this ❤️❤️
thank you so much for reading cindy…glad (and sorry) that you resonate. as long as we don’t receive un-compliments we’ll be okay…and hey, there’s a reason why that’s not a thing :) xx
The dread of people’s changing perceptions resonates with me very much. My mind plays all these tricks on me, telling me any compliment I was given a year ago or even a day ago probably no longer applies because I’ve lost whatever spark they saw in me since, or it never applied in the first place because they said it out of pity or this or that. But I have to remember that that’s nonsense and I’m essentially the same me and whatever they saw in me exists even if I can’t see it at the moment. I’m still so afraid of disappointing people but I think it’s gotten better than it used to be because I’ve slipped in many ways from my former perfection and still been loved and fixed things that needed to be fixed. You’re right: things will (most likely) work out! Something I needed to be reminded of today :)
And I needed to hear this--thank you so very much, Milena. As a recovering people-pleaser I think that dread of disappointing others will always be there...but it's important to not linger in a state of self-doubt/fear, because that's definitely disappointing to others (and especially yourself!!). Things will work out. Most likely. Probably. Hopefully. <33
I, too, adore strawberry filled chocolates. Specifically the ones that taste chemical. I have been an INFP-T my whole life, but retook the test in recent months, and I am an ENFP-T now? A win, in my books. I can turn it on and off, as I please 😂
I would also recommend you doing the enneagram test, it's a bit of a long one, but a much deeper analysis! 💗
haha! 🍓 (but I'm the non-chemically one, obviously). must be convenient to flip the extrovert-introvert switch as you so please! thanks for reading and for the personality test rec <3
Wish I could prevent the feeling, but it's one of those inevitable things that creeps up on you in certain moments. Perhaps define your own sense of self satisfaction, don't try to mold to fit someone else's idea of satisfaction. And remembering that the outcome is not always a reflection of YOU or your character or effort or talent etc. Does this make sense at all??
TBH Let them. Let them be disappointed in you, rather than YOU being disappointed in yourself. (I went from ENFJ to ENTJ, I very much dgaf now lol)
Lol…love this take. Thank you so so much for reading xx
the way you write with so much energy is so infectious! the part where you mentioned the thought of people only liking the "lucky" you really stuck with me, because omg, so relatable. love love love!
thank you so much for reading Ammaarah! have to sprinkle some positive energy to make a heavy topic lighter 😌 xx
i felt this to my CORE i’m also an enfj and sorta scared to disappoint the others around me but it’s alright because i got used to the idea of being in second place ♡ your writing is so captivating btw i love it
hey enfj twin!...2nd place by name, 1st place in our hearts. 😌🏆 i'm glad i've captivated you xx
the way you circle back to that line "when someone thinks highly of you, you wonder how long it will take them to feel disappointed in you” like it’s haunting you in real time, gives the whole piece this quiet, anxious heartbeat. and yeah, i did get shivers reading it.🫶🏻😭
😭😭
I used to be in a position where I'd have the same fear. But now, I've fallen so far below the bar I set for myself that the fear has been aleviated. Although, not the best situation to be in, it does have its ups.
Thanks for sharing this…bittersweet how we can't always live up to our expectations. The pressure then lies on being the best version of yourself you can be - more internal than external, I guess.
Maybe we create expectations too high for ourselves, only realizing that after a burnout. Better to take the process slowly and admire every stage of life than rushing to meet your expectations.
i resonate with this so much because every time i receive a compliment, i wonder how long it will take for the person to no longer believe in that compliment. am i still smart? still kind? still a generally nice person?? or has all of that changed, has their perception of me changed since then? idk lol, but I loved reading this ❤️❤️
thank you so much for reading cindy…glad (and sorry) that you resonate. as long as we don’t receive un-compliments we’ll be okay…and hey, there’s a reason why that’s not a thing :) xx
The dread of people’s changing perceptions resonates with me very much. My mind plays all these tricks on me, telling me any compliment I was given a year ago or even a day ago probably no longer applies because I’ve lost whatever spark they saw in me since, or it never applied in the first place because they said it out of pity or this or that. But I have to remember that that’s nonsense and I’m essentially the same me and whatever they saw in me exists even if I can’t see it at the moment. I’m still so afraid of disappointing people but I think it’s gotten better than it used to be because I’ve slipped in many ways from my former perfection and still been loved and fixed things that needed to be fixed. You’re right: things will (most likely) work out! Something I needed to be reminded of today :)
And I needed to hear this--thank you so very much, Milena. As a recovering people-pleaser I think that dread of disappointing others will always be there...but it's important to not linger in a state of self-doubt/fear, because that's definitely disappointing to others (and especially yourself!!). Things will work out. Most likely. Probably. Hopefully. <33
I, too, adore strawberry filled chocolates. Specifically the ones that taste chemical. I have been an INFP-T my whole life, but retook the test in recent months, and I am an ENFP-T now? A win, in my books. I can turn it on and off, as I please 😂
I would also recommend you doing the enneagram test, it's a bit of a long one, but a much deeper analysis! 💗
haha! 🍓 (but I'm the non-chemically one, obviously). must be convenient to flip the extrovert-introvert switch as you so please! thanks for reading and for the personality test rec <3
To prevent the feeling of being a disappointment, how does self-satisfaction work for you?
Wish I could prevent the feeling, but it's one of those inevitable things that creeps up on you in certain moments. Perhaps define your own sense of self satisfaction, don't try to mold to fit someone else's idea of satisfaction. And remembering that the outcome is not always a reflection of YOU or your character or effort or talent etc. Does this make sense at all??
😲 That sounds like you make the meaning.
Oh my gosh totally! You make the meaning, stand firm in your own truth. thanks again for reading